nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
