have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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