She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
