Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
