He disabled his match.com account in front of me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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