Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
