North Korea, Best Korea!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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