Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
