We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
