how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
