Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
