when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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