I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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