he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize