My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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