Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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