i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
