I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
