Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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