What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
