The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
