i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
