I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
