I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
