can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
