Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize
