Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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