guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
bring money and cleavage
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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