fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
