he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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