It's Friday. Sex?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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