you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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