He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
