apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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