Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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