Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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