from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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