Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
