We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
