I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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