Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
operation have a gay friend backfired
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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