hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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