How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
