once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
