no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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