dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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