Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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