why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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