So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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