I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize