is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
