There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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