So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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