Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
