The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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