It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
