Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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