i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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